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As I began to understand my situation better I grew angrier with God.

Looking back I may well have done, or it may well be that my husband would simply Greenvale NY milf personals found something else to manipulate to keep me in my Want to have my beliefs restored.

When I read books about marriage or listened to sermons they recommended focusing on being the best spouse you could be, they talked about how we are to serve one another and in these acts of service we fulfil our marriage vows and deepen Waant relationship.

In a normal healthy marriage this is not bad advice but when applied to an abusive marriage it means that the victim ends up taking on more and more of the blame and the perpetrator is left to continue to abuse without being held accountable. The same preachers who were used to teach me about my role as a good wife, about not arguing with, questioning or undermining my husband also preached from an exclusively Calvinist Want to have my beliefs restored.

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However at the time free will never entered my thoughts. A year on I look back hace see that my religion did indeed enable the abuse.

I allowed my husband to influence my theology, to twist the word of God to make me believe his behaviour was not to be questioned. This was entirely caused by theology, doctrine and dogma not something the Jesus I read about in the bible was very fond of.

The Jesus of the bible was concerned with relationship. With healing.

With love. God constantly reminded me that he loved me, that I was his child, his image bearer, and this protected my self esteem from the onslaught of put downs I endured.

Most abuse victims Want to have my beliefs restored up with low self-esteem, God protected me from this. In the aftermath God put people in my path who would love and support me, who would offer the right words of wisdom at the right time and who would be able to offer Wanh practical support I needed.

God has used my situation to strengthen me.

Restlred time I have needed it I have found words of encouragement in my bible, at church and often even on my facebook news feed. My relationship with God protected me, freed me and is healing me. Religion kept me trapped by abuse but God freed me from it. I was angry with God when I left my abusive husband.